On saturday it seems that A miscarried the.. fetus? I guess. it was very sad and brief... but weve talked about it alot. Talking about things like do we want to try again? what would we do if the baby was probably going to have problems? or cause her problems? and how we feel.. and felt.
I was almost surprised at how sad A was about this. She hadnt shown me alot of excitement or emotion about the pregnancy... so her sadness was.. er. I don't know - I wasn't surprised, but at the same time I wasn't expecting it from her. She never cries and the most common emotion I see on her is anger.. so being sad told me that she was hiding her emotions from me... and probably herself as well. That hurts a little... but how honest am I with her? I'm not sure I can answer that question... since I know that I'm not honest with myself.
I felt what are probably the normal range of emotions for a selfish, maladjusted 35 year old confronted with an unexpected pregnancy - sadness, selfish joy, disappointment in myself, questioning of my relationship with A and also with a perspective offspring. whoa, I was almost a dad. Then I had the massive sense of loss of not having my dad around to share this with. So yeah.. I'm all kinds of messed up lately and really wish my doctor hadn't fucked up my insurance or that I had played a more active part in the process. But that's another story for another day and another blog.
Monday, January 21
Friday, January 18
Silence
Besides resubscribing to WoW, Ive got more news.
On Wednesday (1/16), A went and had some blood work done and in the afternoon we were notified that she was pregnant. An appointment was scheduled for next week and we were cautiously enthusiastic. Thursday morning came and she said that she had bled pretty badly while going to the bathroom and she figured that she had lost the baby. We were both aware how often people miscarriage and since she is 35 (and recently had surgery to remove fibroids) we knew that it would be more difficult than expected.
So, off to the doctors yesterday where she got a sonogram.. and we see the little smudge and the heartbeat going like mad... whoa. A is about 6 weeks pregnant!! but there is also a mass of blood in the uterus.. so we will be keeping the appointment for next week and remaining cautious in our optimism. I asked the doctor to let me know when I can worry less and just be excited.. but until that thumbs up, Im not saying anything and we are acting like nothing is happening. Well, except for the whole "no drinking" thing.
As for why Im blogging this on a dead blog? cause I want to make sure I get my thoughts down somewhere.. and this is quiet enough that no one should ever notice. Unless, of course, Mangoat is still subscribed to it and then he will see this. Heya Duder!
On Wednesday (1/16), A went and had some blood work done and in the afternoon we were notified that she was pregnant. An appointment was scheduled for next week and we were cautiously enthusiastic. Thursday morning came and she said that she had bled pretty badly while going to the bathroom and she figured that she had lost the baby. We were both aware how often people miscarriage and since she is 35 (and recently had surgery to remove fibroids) we knew that it would be more difficult than expected.
So, off to the doctors yesterday where she got a sonogram.. and we see the little smudge and the heartbeat going like mad... whoa. A is about 6 weeks pregnant!! but there is also a mass of blood in the uterus.. so we will be keeping the appointment for next week and remaining cautious in our optimism. I asked the doctor to let me know when I can worry less and just be excited.. but until that thumbs up, Im not saying anything and we are acting like nothing is happening. Well, except for the whole "no drinking" thing.
As for why Im blogging this on a dead blog? cause I want to make sure I get my thoughts down somewhere.. and this is quiet enough that no one should ever notice. Unless, of course, Mangoat is still subscribed to it and then he will see this. Heya Duder!
Wednesday, November 29
Okay. I suck
But since theres only the one reader as far as I can tell, my motivation hasnt been as high as it could be. So heres a quick recap of the last 20 days for yall
GenCon SoCal - "The Best Four Days of Gaming!" and they were.. except I hardly had a chance to game since I was working the show. I was judging the D&D Minis events for Wizards of the Coast for the event and had a spectacular time. I met a bunch of great folks - some for the first time. I didnt make any significant judging errors and felt I was fair and reasonable. No one died or was otherwise maimed by me in a moment of rage. I saw the worst comedy show in the history of man (that had nothing to do with Michael Richards). I didnt drink, eat nor sleep nearly enough. I got a fair amount of product, saw a bunch of new games and well - I had a kick ass time. But that was 6 days without WOW, Email, web browsing or free time.
Thanksgiving - I had dinner at my sister's group home with her, my uncle and A (my wife). It was completely stress free and enjoyable. Having a handicapped sibling is hard as hell most of the time but the unconditional love you share is awesome. After dinner we went out to the movies and saw the new Bond film, which was great.
Wife - A's dad is on vacation in India with his brother and that leaves her to run his company while he is gone. So she is burning vacation time to keep that going while he is away so Im not seeing her as much as I could and that bums me out a bit. But I was in California having fun - i need to take her on a vacation somewhere soon.
Work - Im a network security engineer by profession and these past two weeks have been busy as heck fighting a virus in one of our companies. Lets just say that theres alot of stuff I would rather be doing than dicking with this stuff for 2 weeks.
Upcoming weekend - I will be down in Maryland to judge another DDM limited qualifier. So I will be gone Friday thru Sunday.. only two nites, but still.. A and I have both been away and busy too much lately..
Then theres WOW. God Damn WOW. Its all I do. I cant stop. About the only thing I can say is that I needed a break from Alliance so I went back to Horde to "play around a bit".
13 Warrior
23 Rogue
Transferred a 60 from Hellscream over to the new server
Ive joined up with a few friends to a great guild of folks. We swear, joke around and try to have fun swording with other jokers. Nothing serious. No overarching goals, no drama (in my limited view), no loot whoring. And Im having fun playing a rogue.. back to back same class alts have been bad for me in the past but this time is kinda cool. Im currently doing Combat w/ Daggers but as soon as I can get better weapons off the worst AH in the game (seriously - this server seems to just vendor all their greens! and then they want like a billion gold for a mediocre blue) I will probably switch.. unless I get a Meteor Shard out of SFK. But the rate at which I am levelling is kinda scary. Course, Im playing more than I should and work is suffering for it to a degree.
But all that - December is coming and my druid is still 44. I need to get her up to 60 and get some gear for the 60-70 march in January and beyond. So my rogue might be shelved or put on part time status while I spend more time focusing on my druid for a bit. Hell, I just need a bit of a push past where I am to get into the next range and start my climb again.. but alts getting to 60 arent a common occurance for me.. I'd like to fix that and finish both toons.. but that wont happen before BC. And since i already have a 60 on both servers Im playing on the pressure just isnt there to really drive me to complete a goal (another issue I have).
Today's useful tidbit will be a link - http://www.wow-loot.com/ - just click your class and it will show you what instance / quest gets you the nice items for your level. They might not be the "best" but damn its useful. Mitigates some of the search times thru Thottbot that I used to do trying to find what weapon is available and how to obtain it. Maybe this week I will cover Auctioneer finally. And possibly pimp this site out at a few of the podcast / wow sites.
GenCon SoCal - "The Best Four Days of Gaming!" and they were.. except I hardly had a chance to game since I was working the show. I was judging the D&D Minis events for Wizards of the Coast for the event and had a spectacular time. I met a bunch of great folks - some for the first time. I didnt make any significant judging errors and felt I was fair and reasonable. No one died or was otherwise maimed by me in a moment of rage. I saw the worst comedy show in the history of man (that had nothing to do with Michael Richards). I didnt drink, eat nor sleep nearly enough. I got a fair amount of product, saw a bunch of new games and well - I had a kick ass time. But that was 6 days without WOW, Email, web browsing or free time.
Thanksgiving - I had dinner at my sister's group home with her, my uncle and A (my wife). It was completely stress free and enjoyable. Having a handicapped sibling is hard as hell most of the time but the unconditional love you share is awesome. After dinner we went out to the movies and saw the new Bond film, which was great.
Wife - A's dad is on vacation in India with his brother and that leaves her to run his company while he is gone. So she is burning vacation time to keep that going while he is away so Im not seeing her as much as I could and that bums me out a bit. But I was in California having fun - i need to take her on a vacation somewhere soon.
Work - Im a network security engineer by profession and these past two weeks have been busy as heck fighting a virus in one of our companies. Lets just say that theres alot of stuff I would rather be doing than dicking with this stuff for 2 weeks.
Upcoming weekend - I will be down in Maryland to judge another DDM limited qualifier. So I will be gone Friday thru Sunday.. only two nites, but still.. A and I have both been away and busy too much lately..
Then theres WOW. God Damn WOW. Its all I do. I cant stop. About the only thing I can say is that I needed a break from Alliance so I went back to Horde to "play around a bit".
13 Warrior
23 Rogue
Transferred a 60 from Hellscream over to the new server
Ive joined up with a few friends to a great guild of folks. We swear, joke around and try to have fun swording with other jokers. Nothing serious. No overarching goals, no drama (in my limited view), no loot whoring. And Im having fun playing a rogue.. back to back same class alts have been bad for me in the past but this time is kinda cool. Im currently doing Combat w/ Daggers but as soon as I can get better weapons off the worst AH in the game (seriously - this server seems to just vendor all their greens! and then they want like a billion gold for a mediocre blue) I will probably switch.. unless I get a Meteor Shard out of SFK. But the rate at which I am levelling is kinda scary. Course, Im playing more than I should and work is suffering for it to a degree.
But all that - December is coming and my druid is still 44. I need to get her up to 60 and get some gear for the 60-70 march in January and beyond. So my rogue might be shelved or put on part time status while I spend more time focusing on my druid for a bit. Hell, I just need a bit of a push past where I am to get into the next range and start my climb again.. but alts getting to 60 arent a common occurance for me.. I'd like to fix that and finish both toons.. but that wont happen before BC. And since i already have a 60 on both servers Im playing on the pressure just isnt there to really drive me to complete a goal (another issue I have).
Today's useful tidbit will be a link - http://www.wow-loot.com/ - just click your class and it will show you what instance / quest gets you the nice items for your level. They might not be the "best" but damn its useful. Mitigates some of the search times thru Thottbot that I used to do trying to find what weapon is available and how to obtain it. Maybe this week I will cover Auctioneer finally. And possibly pimp this site out at a few of the podcast / wow sites.
Friday, November 10
Quiet lately
I havent been playing as much. Feeling tinges of burnout hitting with all the alts. As the BNL song goes "Its all been done". I started up a Tauren Warrior and remembered a few things from the old days
1 - Taurens have the biggest starting area by leaps and bounds - and its got a much lower population density
2 - Its obnoxious as hell to do the Tauren starting quests
3 - Taurens are freaking HUGE - frequently I cant even see the creep Im fighting (or that just aggro'd me)
4 - GD it feels like a long ass run out of the noob town to the first town.
5 - Im REALLY not looking forward to the run from TM to Ogrimaar
But, thats where Im spending some time. Im trying to get fired up.. and i think the only way thats gonna happen is going to be taking a break. Cause right now, as of this moment, Im totally burned out. And I think that this blog helped that along. "He who burns brightest, burns shortest" or some shit like that.
But dont worry - I still want to get my knowledge base into a permanent form. I will still write up a long ass post about Auctioneer, its features, the included mods and how many cool things you can do with it.
Today I think Im gonna go off for a few minutes about the WoW PodCasts. You might have noticed that I link to a few on the page - those are the ones I recommend. I have a bitch about podcasts tho -
They are a pre-recorded medium. There are a few things that shouldnt happen when you can edit the cast later
1 - wrong or lacking data - you can pull up the web site and provide it.
2 - consistent volume - if you are hosting the show with another person can you PLEASE make sure that you arent blowing out eardrums and the co-host is so quiet you cant make out exactly what they are saying
3 - lack of reason for podcast - FFS! if you have nothing to say, dont record it. Come up with a list of things to talk about. Flash cards, something.
Funniest Podcast host has GOT to be Slanik on WoW Radio: Vendor Trash. An irish git who is generally funny as hell... tho since its a Radio show he plays smidges of music. bah.
1 - Taurens have the biggest starting area by leaps and bounds - and its got a much lower population density
2 - Its obnoxious as hell to do the Tauren starting quests
3 - Taurens are freaking HUGE - frequently I cant even see the creep Im fighting (or that just aggro'd me)
4 - GD it feels like a long ass run out of the noob town to the first town.
5 - Im REALLY not looking forward to the run from TM to Ogrimaar
But, thats where Im spending some time. Im trying to get fired up.. and i think the only way thats gonna happen is going to be taking a break. Cause right now, as of this moment, Im totally burned out. And I think that this blog helped that along. "He who burns brightest, burns shortest" or some shit like that.
But dont worry - I still want to get my knowledge base into a permanent form. I will still write up a long ass post about Auctioneer, its features, the included mods and how many cool things you can do with it.
Today I think Im gonna go off for a few minutes about the WoW PodCasts. You might have noticed that I link to a few on the page - those are the ones I recommend. I have a bitch about podcasts tho -
They are a pre-recorded medium. There are a few things that shouldnt happen when you can edit the cast later
1 - wrong or lacking data - you can pull up the web site and provide it.
2 - consistent volume - if you are hosting the show with another person can you PLEASE make sure that you arent blowing out eardrums and the co-host is so quiet you cant make out exactly what they are saying
3 - lack of reason for podcast - FFS! if you have nothing to say, dont record it. Come up with a list of things to talk about. Flash cards, something.
Funniest Podcast host has GOT to be Slanik on WoW Radio: Vendor Trash. An irish git who is generally funny as hell... tho since its a Radio show he plays smidges of music. bah.
Wednesday, November 8
Yesterday....
Well, yesterday was Election Day here in the US and I did my duty as a citizen and went out and cast my vote (LIGHTNING BOLT!). Being an abhoration in this day and age (a non-conservative Republican), I split my votes across both parties and one Independant. I did a bit of research and actually knew something about most of the candidates in my district. No town elections this year but I did have state and federal congress plus my governor, attorney general and other positions. I voted, did you? Commie bastard!
Plus, I played WOW. Only about 3 hours while my wife was to be studying - but I still felt guilty. I should have just hung out with her and watched the news while she read to see what was happening in my state and country - but I played wow and watched the Family Guy movie. Addict that I am.
So what happened yesterday? I dinged 28 with my rogue, got instant poison 2, sold some crap on the AH, hit 200 herbalism, made some potions for my use (really trying to go slow on Alchemy as I still have 7 more levels before I can get above 225 and I need the money from Herbalism) and.. um. killed stuff. Progressed most of the duskwood quests to the point where I will need to group or get assistance from a higher level toon to finish them. I think I will group then try to run Stockades for the first time ever (Ive run it once with my 60 Hunter helping friends thru it - but that doesnt count). I also upgraded my weapons for 2g - two maces. Im thinking of going mace spec for the stun lock and the generally lower cost on maces vs similiar swords. But I dont know.. that might change a few times between now and 60. Im skipping training skills that require dagger to save some coin (Ambush for example) as I am not using them and have been advised that there arent many good daggers til 60+.. but again, that might all change.
Im giving serious thought to parking my rogue and playing a horde toon during the time I have been spending with her. Why when Ive been having fun and levelling quickly? Well, a friend is playing Horde now and I want to "sword" with him and stuff and Im still waiting for a different friend to catch up to my druid so I can move forward with her. I really like my Kitty Druid and want to keep playing her.. but who knows. I can feel the burnout beginning.. Alt-itis is the first step (making many alts and playing them for a while then parking them) - that follows a general malaise in playing in general. Plus, I really REALLY need to spend time this week on Minis. I need to know the rules and clarifications for judging next week at SoCal (I cant believe its already next week!). But dammit - Im next on armor rotation for Hunters, have a metric TON of unspent DKP if a weapon drops that I want and I know all of this end game grinding / raiding is for naught in 3 months time.
My last point for the day is that Ive discovered a new feature of Auctioneer and have decided that it is worth an entire blog post on the mod all by itself. It (with Enchantrix and Beancounter) is probably the most fully featured addon Ive ever used and just.. wow. So look for that tonite / tommorow. And Ive just managed to miss yet another impromptu meeting at work cause I was thinking about WOW and not about my job. Dammit.. I really wish it was Wife, Job, WoW, Minis.. but lately its been alot more WOW, Wife, Minis, Job. Im gonna pay for that someday. I just wish I could bring about change.
Plus, I played WOW. Only about 3 hours while my wife was to be studying - but I still felt guilty. I should have just hung out with her and watched the news while she read to see what was happening in my state and country - but I played wow and watched the Family Guy movie. Addict that I am.
So what happened yesterday? I dinged 28 with my rogue, got instant poison 2, sold some crap on the AH, hit 200 herbalism, made some potions for my use (really trying to go slow on Alchemy as I still have 7 more levels before I can get above 225 and I need the money from Herbalism) and.. um. killed stuff. Progressed most of the duskwood quests to the point where I will need to group or get assistance from a higher level toon to finish them. I think I will group then try to run Stockades for the first time ever (Ive run it once with my 60 Hunter helping friends thru it - but that doesnt count). I also upgraded my weapons for 2g - two maces. Im thinking of going mace spec for the stun lock and the generally lower cost on maces vs similiar swords. But I dont know.. that might change a few times between now and 60. Im skipping training skills that require dagger to save some coin (Ambush for example) as I am not using them and have been advised that there arent many good daggers til 60+.. but again, that might all change.
Im giving serious thought to parking my rogue and playing a horde toon during the time I have been spending with her. Why when Ive been having fun and levelling quickly? Well, a friend is playing Horde now and I want to "sword" with him and stuff and Im still waiting for a different friend to catch up to my druid so I can move forward with her. I really like my Kitty Druid and want to keep playing her.. but who knows. I can feel the burnout beginning.. Alt-itis is the first step (making many alts and playing them for a while then parking them) - that follows a general malaise in playing in general. Plus, I really REALLY need to spend time this week on Minis. I need to know the rules and clarifications for judging next week at SoCal (I cant believe its already next week!). But dammit - Im next on armor rotation for Hunters, have a metric TON of unspent DKP if a weapon drops that I want and I know all of this end game grinding / raiding is for naught in 3 months time.
My last point for the day is that Ive discovered a new feature of Auctioneer and have decided that it is worth an entire blog post on the mod all by itself. It (with Enchantrix and Beancounter) is probably the most fully featured addon Ive ever used and just.. wow. So look for that tonite / tommorow. And Ive just managed to miss yet another impromptu meeting at work cause I was thinking about WOW and not about my job. Dammit.. I really wish it was Wife, Job, WoW, Minis.. but lately its been alot more WOW, Wife, Minis, Job. Im gonna pay for that someday. I just wish I could bring about change.
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